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The Fortitude of Forgiveness

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At the end of last month I got a text from my oldest sister "Dad asked me to tell you, he wants to see all his children as soon as possible, because his health is getting worse. He has some things he wanted to discuss." I haven't  seen my dad in a good three, almost four years. Ever since he chose not to attend my wedding day (not without an excuse, he's always good at giving those) Up until that moment I gave him every opportunity to be willing participant in my life as a father, but when he didn't show up on that day, something within me hardened and I had set a firm boundary. If he wanted to see me, he had to make the effort as I wasn't going to visit him anymore.

My dad's health has been getting worse from this year on, his heart condition had gotten worse. One of his heart valves is not working properly anymore and with the bypass he had, the medicine he is taking for it, well let's say, it's not getting any easier for him. The doctors said …

The Formality of Form

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A post shared by Cheetarah (@present_and_connected) on Sep 1, 2017 at 1:35am PDT
Last weekend my husband and I had an introduction to Zen-meditation as I wanted to know the form this meditation had to offer and the difference between other meditation forms I have tried. Mindfulness and loving kindness meditations being a few of them. 

As the instructor was explaining the origin, practice and form she said jokingly "But don't worry, we won't hit you with sticks!" and I was like "Excuse me, what do you mean with that?!" And she explained that in the Japanese ZaZen tradition when you are learning this form of meditation, you really have to learn the form - when you are not sitting up straight enough, you'll get hit by a stick in your back to re-position your posture! The shock showed on my face and she said "yeah, Zen-meditation is not for wussies! But like I said we won't hit you with sticks." And gosh I just laughed and laughed. Of course I m…

The acknowledgement of suffering

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Every morning before going to work or starting my day, I sit at my desk with a cuppa coffee and write my Morning Pages. This morning was no different. All the crafty stuff are pushed to the side and it's quiet time with me, my thought, my deeper self. In the past week I have been writing down transcripts from "The act of Forgiveness, Loving Kindness and Peace" from Jack Kornfield. I finish, as I usually do, with writing down the Loving Kindness Metta Meditation and set the tone for gratitude and compassion for the day.


Later at work I met a colleague whom is going through chemo therapy from her second encounter with cancer. She was exhausted and was heading for another round of chemo this afternoon. But she was at work for an hour because she wanted to feel she was doing something useful and did some research for an article she wanted to write. I said it was so good to see her again and I was wondering how she was doing. While talking she expressed her guilt for not bei…

The process of thought collecting

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When I leave my home I always try to bring a notebook and a fountain pen (or two) with me. I've had my midori travel's journal for work appointments and day to day planning, a little notebook here and there for when a random inspiration hits me and need to write it down, I have a notebook at my PC at home for making notes during podcasts I listen to, a gratitude journal and a quote journal... on a random day, this would be what my desk looks like, a multitude of notebooks on my desk going on at once. The looks of it can be quite over-whelming to the outsider, but I have my own system I am working with and suited me fine. But then I wanted to look up something I knew I had written down somewhere, but I couldn't find it. All these loose journals were serving me well as brain dumps, but it wasn't providing the structure I needed when I wanted to follow up on things. I was looking into Bullet Journaling some years ago but decided that that was a "difficult structure …

The Gift of Gratitude

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Today I am sharing a personal story in correlation to cultivating gratitude and how that can open new possibilities in your every day life.

Yesterday I had a craving for Risotto and went out with my husband to Den Haag to eat at the place I really wanted to eat. Sadly the restaurant was so crowded and a due to a technical malfunction only cash payments were accepted. Who carries cash with them these days?! Anyhow, a bit of a disappointment there, but then my husband, the darling he is, google searched for Risotto and Italian meals. We ended up in this beautiful little restaurant, (which was a 30 minute walk from where we were at the time and I experienced Hangry symptoms all the way, my poor husband can attest to as I asked 'are we there yet?!' like a 4 yo toddler every 4 minutes), which had a gorgeous turquoise canopy (yes, turquoise is my fave color, not sure if you noticed ) and thought "hmm, maybe this day won't suck after all.." and oh, what a wonderful sur…

Everything is Spiritual

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Stand in the center of your own calm

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